


Without You

by beccadearie



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-24
Updated: 2012-04-24
Packaged: 2017-11-04 05:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/390328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beccadearie/pseuds/beccadearie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur hadn’t seen Merlin for three years. Three years since Merlin had left for the ‘once in a lifetime opportunity.’ Three years since he had let Merlin leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Unashamedly written to Lady Gaga’s “You and I.” This is subtitled "The Couch." Also [posted](http://beccadearie.livejournal.com/2623.html) on LJ.

Arthur hadn’t seen Merlin for three years. Three years since Merlin had left for the ‘once in a lifetime opportunity.’

Three years since he had let Merlin leave. Told him to leave. 

  


They didn’t even speak the first year. And then Merlin cautiously sent him an email and a tentative, shaky rapport was reestablished. It was hard to re-form a friendship with a former lover. To no longer have those caresses to look forward to. To speak cautiously and casually about one’s life. 

  


So Merlin had no right to show up again in Arthur’s life. Especially not on Arthur’s door step. It just wasn’t fair. 

Merlin knew it wasn’t fair. But he did it anyway. Couldn’t help himself. It had been three years since he’d been in London, three years since he’d seen the beautiful scenery, hugged his mum, rode the tube. But, by God, if the first thing he didn’t do was hail a cab and find his way to Arthur’s apartment. And there it was, with the Pendragon nametag still tacked next to the call button. 

  


He thought that pressing the call button was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Not leaving. Not getting on that plane, but pressing the button. Well, he was wrong. Knocking on Arthur’s door was the hardest thing he ever had to do. 

  


Arthur couldn’t imagine what the look on his face was when he opened the door to see Merlin there. Whatever it was, he was sure it couldn’t sum up the great wash of feelings coursing through his veins. It was just….Merlin. 

  


“Hey,” Merlin said, a little breathless, shifting from one leg to another. Maybe it was seeing Arthur again for the first time in three years, or maybe it was the four flights of stairs he just climbed. Arthur stared. And then, after a long moment of just staring into Merlin’s eyes, he stepped aside and held the door open for Merlin.

  


Merlin walked in through the door of his flat and it was like he had never left. The door clicked shut behind them and then they stood facing each other in the living room, Merlin awkward and Arthur stoic. 

  


“I’m back,” Merlin said lamely and Arthur just nodded. His eyes kept running down his body, catching at the threadbare edges of the hoodie, the soft eyelashes against creamy skin, the pale fingers poking out of sleeves.  
Finally, to the bluest blue of his eyes, eyes he had drowned in once, and the pink smoothness of his lips. And it was like Merlin had never left. Like it hadn’t been 3 years, two months, and five days since he got on that plane.

  


Merlin reached out a hand, tentatively, and was relieved beyond belief that Arthur reached his own up to meet him. Arthur’s hand was warm under his as he grasped their palms together, finally lacing fingers and squeezing tightly. Arthur pulled him forward as he took a step of his own. Now he was mere inches away and Arthur’s free hand was stealing softly over Merlin’s other hand. Running fingertips over the back of his hand, then gliding up a forearm, skimming along the shoulder, tracing a line of his neck, finally coming to rest, cradled against Merlin’s cheekbone. 

  


They were only connected by these two points, but Merlin felt it down to his soul. He was singing inside; his eyes kept flicking over Arthur’s face, taking in the soft blond hair and wonderful blue eyes. Arthur still hadn’t spoken, but Merlin didn’t blame him. He was the one who had the explaining to do. 

  


“I’m sor-” Merlin blurted out but Arthur just shook his head, cutting him off. The thumb on his cheek bone moved slightly, tracing a slow and lazy path towards his ear. Arthur was staring at him with a burning intensity and Merlin was sure that his gaze was focused on his lips and it looked like Arthur was leaning forward just a bit-

  


And then Arthur was pressing against him, mouth capturing his bottom lip, licking his way into Merlin’s mouth.  
There might have been a small keening noise made at the back of Merlin’s throat, but he wasn’t paying attention. He was focusing on clutching Arthur’s face between his palms, Arthur’s fingers cradling his neck, and not letting his knees turn completely to jelly. 

  


Arthur seemed to sense this fact, or else he just wanted to be horizontal as much as Merlin did, because he started backing them towards a faintly ugly looking green couch. Arthur twisted them around so that Merlin ended up being the one slammed down onto the couch- and then Arthur was covering him, stretching out over him, and doing that nibbly thing against his lower lip. 

  


“You kept the couch,” Merlin managed a hoarse whisper when he’d caught his breath and Arthur had moved from his lips to his jaw. 

  


“Of course,” Arthur murmured against the soft skin just under his adam’s apple. It was the first words Merlin had heard from him in three years. “It’s the first place we-“

  


“Yes I know,” Merlin gasped as Arthur nipped at him. “But it’s just so ugly.” 

  


Merlin felt Arthur’s lips widen into a grin against his skin and suddenly he was being pulled into a sitting position and Arthur was tearing at the zipper of his hoodie. He responded by attacking the hem of Arthur’s long sleeved t shirt. 

  


There was a mass of flailing arms as Arthur tried to yank Merlin’s sleeves out of his hoodie at the same time Merlin was trying to pull his t shirt over his head, but they worked it out eventually with minimal injury. And then Arthur found himself being pushed backwards quite forcefully and Merlin was on top of him now, straddling his hips, jeans grinding against jeans. Arthur groaned, deep in his throat and reached up to haul the the lovely-now shirtless- Merlin towards him to feel the skin on skin, but Merlin held back. He looked unsure, and oh so vulnerable, with his black hair askew, lips swollen and red, a bite mark on his collarbone. 

  


“Is there-?” he started and swallowed. Arthur was captivated by that slight movement of his adam’s apple and slid his fingers further up Merlin’s shoulder. “I mean, was there ever-?” He broke off again and reached out a shaky hand to trace the contours of Arthur’s face.

  


Arthur tilted his head and pressed a tender kiss to Merlin’s palm. “One or two,” he couldn’t help admitting, “but they were never- I never could- I mean- They just weren’t-” He swallowed hard and worked up his courage. “No,” he said finally. “Only you.” 

  


Merlin swallowed and let out a tremulous breath of relief. “I thought- but I wasn’t sure that you would- I never wanted to leave you-” He broke off and wordlessly stared down at Arthur, taking in the mussed up blond hair and acres of tanned, muscled chest. He leaned down and pressed an open mouthed kiss to the fine line of blond hair leading from Arthur’s belly button into the waistband of his jeans. As he licked over the delicate skin there, Arthur let out a groan, deep and throaty. Merlin leaned back again to look at him and Arthur’s eyes flickered open. 

  


“Are you going back?” Arthur asked, his voice hoarse.

  


Merlin studied him. “I don’t know,” he admitted finally. He felt Arthur tense underneath him and Arthur sagged, looking utterly crestfallen. 

  


“I had hoped,” he said quietly and Merlin’s heart was about to break in two. 

  


“Will you come with me?” Merlin blurted out, and, because he couldn’t help himself, ran a finger in a line from Arthur’s chest to his stomach, his eyes fixed somewhere on Arthur’s shoulder. 

  


“With you?” Arthur was taken aback. If he was expecting anything, he wasn’t expecting this from Merlin. “To-?”

  


“Yes,” Merlin dragged his eyes back to Arthur’s. “Please?” He started to stretch out over Arthur, moving slowly, one inch at a time, one hand braced on the back of the couch and the other running shaky lines up Arthur’s naked side. 

  


Speechless, Arthur trembled against him, waiting until Merlin’s stomach was pressed against his before letting out his breath. 

  


“Okay,” he said finally, and then gasped as Merlin’s fingertips slid just under the waistband of his jeans. “Just promise me one thing. Never run out on me again. Okay?” Finally Arthur allowed himself to reach out and pull Merlin towards him, crashing those lips against his. 

  


Hands finally finding Arthur’s blond locks, Merlin pulled himself away from Arthur’s lips to murmur against them: “I’m not leaving without you this time.” 


End file.
